Shadow Dancing

The room is lit only by her "nightlight", which in actuality is a standup flashlight that she claims as "hers", and of course her grin.  Her grin could light up the darkest room, of that much I am sure.  She twirls and giggles as her shadow "dances" along with her.

 K Roberts Photography

I am there trying to memorize every movement, the way her hair catches the light, the sheer joy behind her giggles...suddenly she stops.  "Momma, don't stop singing!"  I laugh, unaware that I had stopped and continue on..."Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your name."

K Roberts Photography

She leaps and lifts her hands, spins, and waves her hands in the air...the most beautiful little dancer I have ever seen.  "You give and take away, You give and take away...my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name." Her tiny voice, once unsure of all of the words, now knows them by heart and she sings along.

I am struck by how carefree she is...how confident...how content.

K Roberts Photography

There will be days ahead that it will be harder to leap and spin so effortlessly.  There will be times that giggles are not her first response.  There will be days when she might want to stop singing.

Lord, I pray that when those days come that she will still dance.
That she will still lift her hands.
That she will still say "Blessed be Your Name".

12 things I'm looking forward to

Several people have asked what I am looking forward to the most upon our return to the States in September...aside from the obvious family & friends - so I thought it'd be fun to type up a list.  This is in no particular order and I have a feeling that if I had typed up a list three years ago it would have looked very different.  We just didn't know the things we had taken for granted!!

1. clean bathrooms wherever/whenever you need one - and yes, our definition of clean has probably changed a LOT
2. cold fresh milk (even though I've heard it cost more than gas these days) the boxed, on the shelf milk just leaves a lot to be desired to say the least
3. refrigerated dough - Pillsbury - I mean, do I need to say more?
4. Chik. Fil. A.
5. the ability to drink tap water - no more bottled water just to brush our teeth!
6. fresh vegetables & fruits no matter what season it is - yes, the price will probably take some getting used to BUT we won't atleast we won't have to bleach them first!
7. road trips - traveling on paved roads that have rules to abide by sounds quite lovely, and don't forget about gas stations, fast food stops, and rest areas (specified areas to go to the bathroom?? seriously?!?!) - I mean wow! what a treat!!
8. worship in our heart language with those who are close to us
9. cream cheese that comes refrigerated and in blocks - here they are in 1oz squares and are on the shelf
10. cereal - don't laugh - it is available for purchase here but runs about $18 a box and is usually somewhat stale - needless to say, we haven't bought it!
11. central air & heat 
12. option to purchase meat without bones, skin, hair, or anything else you might not really find appetizing
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

Ponytails & No Makeup

Life here is hard, dirty, hot, ugly, uncomfortable...and beautiful.  I've learned so much this first term and a LOT of it has been about changes that needed to happen inside of my own life.  It's interesting how stripping away who I am isn't always a metaphor...sometimes it's quite literal.

There's a hole in my favorite green skirt.  It may or may not have been there for over a year now.  By the time I remember that it's there, I'm already out at the market and when I come home I have forgotten already.  No one I see, even my friend Luxia, will ever point it out...honestly, no one probably even notices it.  I've never once seen a Malagasy person check out my clothing.  They are too busy just visiting with me.  There's something freeing about wearing the same clothes every week.  No one will ever say, "didn't you have that on the last time I saw you?" because more than likely they are on their 3rd day in the same clothes.  Clothing just isn't the most important thing - and hey for some it's even optional!

I can probably count on one hand the number of times I ever went out in public without makeup on...over the past three years that number is reversed.  It was almost a part of who I was.  Not that there is anything inherently wrong with makeup but the dependancy of it could be.  I'll find this really neat tip on how to do my eyeshadow but by the time I actually wear eyeshadow again, I can't even remember what it was.  I can remember waking up those first few months of marriage and Steve would tell me I looked pretty and I would laugh and say, "but I haven't even done my makeup or fixed my hair!"  That seems like a lifetime ago, since over the past three years, makeup is rarely worn and my hair is normally pulled up the moment I get out of the shower...that's just life here.  While we were in South Africa, Ryleigh came up to me one morning and said, "Momma! You need to wash your eyes!"  I asked her why, to which she replied, "there's something on them!"  It was pretty funny.

I think I'm starting to find a different definition of beautiful.  I go and hang out with our best friends for pizza and game night in pj pants, a tshirt, and no makeup...and honestly haven't really ever thought twice about it.  They have seen me at my worst and hopefully have caught a glimpse of me at my best...and they don't care.  Our relationship is so much deeper - we're not there to give fashion critiques...we're there to fellowship, wrangle kids, usually eat a dessert and just live life together.  Sitting around their table and laughing together...I find myself realizing how truly beautiful those moments are.  We are all truly comfortable around one another - there's no need for false pretenses.

Now, in light of being truly honest on here, as I type this I am wearing makeup and have my hair fixed.  It's my birthday and I wanted to get "dressed up" for the occassion.  There is no judgement here towards any of you who are reading and are wearing makeup or have your hair fixed or have on a new outfit.  I will go shopping when I get to the States this September...and when you see me, I'll probably have on makeup & there will be the Sunday morning when I'm late for Sunday School because I can't get my hair to "do right".  However, who I am will not be defined by that anymore.  I will be continually trying to remember that those things are not the most important and that who a person is should not be defined by such.

And do me a favor?  When you see me in the grocery store with a ponytail and no makeup, remind me of just that.

Jesus Paid It All

Hymns have always been one of my absolute favorite things to sing.  The truths they hold and the stories that are behind them are fascinating to me.  This one has been playing on repeat in my head this week and I just wanted to share it.  Perhaps you need to be reminded of the Truths that are inside these simple lyrics.

I hear the Savior say

Thy strength indeed is small

Child of weakness 

Watch and pray

Find in me

Thine all in all

Jesus paid it all

All to Him I owe

Sin had left a crimson stain

He washed it white as snow

He is our all in all - our EVERYTHING.  He knows that we are weak...it's not a secret.  He created us that way so that we would need to depend on Him.  So that no matter what circumstance we find ourselves in, we can confidently sing...

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine

Oh what a foretaste of glory divine,

heir of salvation, purchase of God,

born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

This is my story, this is my song,

praising my Savior, all the day long.

This is my story, this is my song,

praising my Savior, all the day long.

Five Minute Friday: Finish

Whew.
A sigh of relief.
Finished.
the paper, the race, the exam, the project, the lesson, the work day, the school year, and the list could go on...
But are we really ever finished?
is anything ever truly done?
Or perhaps it's simply a transition into whatever is going to happen next -
as soon as you take a deep breath, it's time to dig in and go at it again
the cycle of life
Paul says that "he fought the good fight and finished the race"
to finish the race, isn't a one day event.
it's not a bumper sticker or a tshirt proudly proclaming your mileage completed
(although you do have my utmost respect and admiration)
it's the minute by minute, day by day, walking in faith
and when your race is finished...guess what?
it's actually only the beginning.

Traveling East

This past Monday, Steve headed out to Mahafaly Land.  On Thursday, he and two of his national friends will make the journey east, deeper into Mahafaly Land, to locate and map new villages.  Please pray that even in these beginning stages, a person of peace may be present.  Pray for safety over Steve, Michel, and Nadison.

Can I also ask your prayers over the girls and me?  It seems that if someone is going to get sick, run a fever, or if the washing machine is going to break - it'll be when Steve's in the bush.  Pray that we have a healthy and sweet time of just us girls?  Pray also for Ryleigh.  She is starting to ask more and more questions when Steve leaves for the bush.  Pray that this would be used as an open door to expose her to even more of the gospel and her need for the Savior.

Looking forward to writing a post about his adventures once he returns!

You're Beautiful BUT...

I honestly do not think a day has gone by since I met Steve 9 1/2 years ago that he has not told me that I'm beautiful.  I'd like to say that I always have believed him...but that's not the case.  Somewhere along the way, it just became something he said to me and I would hear all types of things attached to it in my mind that he never thought, much less said.

You're beautiful...
but not as beautiful as so and so
but only to me
but only because I'm your husband
but you could stand to lose some weight
but in a different way than you used to be
on the inside and that's all that counts

and sadly the list could go on and on.  Just this past week, I was in a particular "self pity" type of mood and I told him that I wish he would just honestly say what I knew had to be going on in his head.  I turned away from him so he could be honest and not see the fear (of what I knew was coming) written on my face.  After a few moments of silence, I turned to see if he was even still there, and he looked straight into my eyes and said, "I tell you every single day, but you still don't believe me".

Those words stayed with me all day long, and when I climbed into bed that night, they plauged my thoughts.  When did I start thinking that my husband was a liar?  When did I stop trusting his words? When did I start attaching clauses to what he said out loud?

Strangely, I was feeling convicted and I wasn't sure why...until the Lord connected the dots for me.  For every time I rolled my eyes or simply didn't believe that he was telling the WHOLE truth - I was disrespecting Steve.  I was telling him with or without words that I didn't trust his thoughts or his words.  I suddenly realized how overwhelmingly devestating this could be to our marriage.  Perhaps, I've caused him to wonder if I doubted everything he said - not just the statements about me.

These thoughts soon turned into how I treat the words of the Lord.  Do I dismiss things that He says are Truth?  Do I add clauses (laws) onto the grace & forgiveness that He gives?  Do I show distrust in my actions or words to what the Lord has said?

You are loved...
but I can't forgive that
but you need to do better
but only when you are successful
but that sin made Me love you less

Desiring to live free of the lies and find rest in His truth...maybe then, I will be able to do the same with Steve.  Thankful that His compassions are never ending.

Drinking from My Saucer

This past week has been quite wonderful.  Spirits have been high.  Times with friends have been plentiful.  Our language examination came and went.  An early birthday party was had, surprise gifts during the week happened, and favorite foods were eaten.  We recieved packages full of yummy favorites and there has been a church in AL, who our only connection is a friend from college, that has covered us in prayer and encouraging emails this week. 

Our families have posted memories in the form of pictures and have sent numerous email cards & gifts.  After several continuous weeks of the "emotional threes", Ryleigh suddenly understood the concept of listening & obeying the first time and  started practicing respectful responses instead of emotionally fueled ones.  Perhaps the best gift this week has come from my little 7 month old.  Although it only took her big sister 7 weeks to start sleeping through the night - we have finally had a week of 11 hours of sleep every night from Miss Lyllian (even though it took 7 months).  Steve, who loves me so well, has gone out of his way to make this a fantastic week and reminded me of all we have to celebrate.   

The Lord is gracious indeed.  He gives more than we could possibly ever desire.  He fills our cup to overflowing.  In the words of Michael Combs, "I'm drinking from my saucer, because my cup has overflowed." Praising Him for His eternal goodness.  Grateful for His abundant gifts.  

My heart is full.

Five Minute Friday: Bloom

If you're interested in joining me in the FMF - just click here for instructions or you can always just write your post in my comment section - I love hearing from you!

Bloom

Go.

The flowers in Tulear are quite amazing & beautiful...especially considering even the nationals here talk about what a dirty town Tulear is.  The blooms are vibrant in color and make the winter months here even more lovely.

Their colors draw our attention and we often comment on how beautiful they are. But have you ever stopped and gazed at a stem or a seed?  Aren't they just as important?  There could be no bloom without the seed, the roots, the stem...the blooms themselves only last for such a short while in the grand scheme of things yet they normally get the most applause.

Isn't it a little ironic how much of our lives are the same way?  The Lord is growing us, trimming us, planting us, watering us all so His fruit can bloom in our lives.  The process is often very dirty and muddy...there are times that we may feel trampled on and broken...but the bloom will come.

Find a way today to be thankful for whatever He is doing in your life that is getting you ready to bloom.

Stop.

Evaluation Time

Tomorrow we have our end of term language evaluation.  I literally feel sick just thinking about it.  Hey, just keeping it real.

The ironic thing is that I literally never have felt this way until it came to the world of 2nd languages. Tests, pop quizzes, exams - none of them ever bothered me while I was in school.  I often wondered why people worried so much about them.  Well friends, now I know.

Basically, this exam will just let me know what areas I need to work on when we come back to the field for our 2nd term.  The exam in and of itself is a good thing...but I have a deep desire to do well and the practicality of that happening isn't very great.  Most of the time, I feel that Ryleigh speaks English better than I speak Malagasy...and on some days she's more fluent in Malagasy than I am too!

I have always loved to talk (just ask my parents, family, friends, Steve, etc) and still do.  Taking that away and suddenly becoming an adult who speaks like a 3 year old is hard.  Humbling doesn't even begin to describe it.  My desire to become more fluent has not changed...it's just a difficult season to become fluent in.

This morning, instead of stressing about it, I'm trying to take it all in - I'm remembering those things that seemed impossible to communicate 3 years ago, come rather easily now.  I'm giving Him the praise for the progress that has been made.  He's also reminded me this morning that while it is so important for me to speak the Malagasy heart language...He is their Anchor of Hope - not me or my language abilities (or lack there of).  God is our Refuge of Strength, our Righteous Redeemer, and He alone is mighty to save.

So, I ask for your prayers over our evaluations tomorrow - but I also ask for your prayers over the Malagasy people that we come in contact with.  Ask Him to use our feeble efforts to bring glory to Himself.  Ask that instead of hearing a vazaha sound like a 3 year old, that they would hear His truths and see His love.

Grateful today and everyday that HE alone is our Anchor of Hope!!

Lyllian Abigail - 7 months

Miss Lyllian ~
   Has it really been 7 months already?!?  I still think of you as my little bitty baby but you have grown quite a bit since the day you came into the world.  This month you are 27 1/3 inches (82%) and weigh 16 lbs (35%).

You have found your toes and if you are on your back then your feet are up in the air.  You have started holding your balance while sitting up and you think it's a lot of fun!  Chewing on almost anything makes you happy but your favorite is Sophie the giraffe.

The only baby food you care about is rice cereal and avacados.  You have spit out everything else on multiple occassions.  This past week we tried out some teething crackers and puffs and you did enjoy feeding yourself once you got the hang of it.

Your daddy says that you said "ma" the other day and reached out to me...I heard you but I'm not sure if it counts as your first word or not.  You do jibber jabber all the time though.  I think you might give your big sister a run for her money one day!

Speaking of Ryleigh, the two of you adore one another.  I cherish those moments.  She loves reading to you and you are absolutely enthralled with her no matter what she's doing.  When she leaves a room, you will stare at the door because you don't want to miss her coming back in.

You are learning to scoot and you laugh when you push up on your arms and knees.  This month, you've had more hair growth than ever before and there's even enough to stick up a little on top of your head.  You are still one of the happiest babies I've ever seen and you love to laugh.  I love your deep blue eyes and the way they light up when your daddy, Ryleigh, or I come into a room.

My favorite thing is how you will reach out for whoever you want to get you.  You giggle at them and will cry if they don't pick you up immediately after you've "asked".  This month, you have started interacting with family during skype calls and of course they are loving that!

Ever so grateful to be your mommy sweet girl - I love you!

Five Minute Friday: Belong

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. (On your own blog or in the comments here).
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

Belong...

Go

It's hard to remember all the rules.

To remember where it's okay to sit and what clothes you're supposed to wear.

The music leader just reminded us to "come as you are" but I'm not so sure...
last time I did that I remember
the sideways glances, the whispered words, the obvious distaste...

Isn't this the place I should belong?

It's not how I imagined the arms of Christ looking,
instead of reaching out, they are busy protecting their circles - their comfort zone.
The words that I thought would be kind and encouraging sound more like comparison & pride.

There were some who smiled at me and shook my hand when it was time to...but they're the same ones who pretended they didn't see me as they made their normal Sunday lunch plans and hurried out the doors.

I just want to belong and I remember someone telling me once that the body of Christ was a place anyone could belong...I guess that doesn't include me.

Stop

*This is not written due to a personal experience - unfortunately, I wonder how many times I've been the cause of such thoughts to visitors in our church and people that the Lord has put in my path as I've gone about my day.  May we all take time today to extend the love, grace, mercy, & forgiveness that we have been shown through Christ.

Falling Apart

Last week, I read this amazing post about the possibility of falling apart on the mission field.  The truths resonated so much within my soul.  I shared the blog via facebook and one of my sweet friends who is an avid prayer warrior commented on it.  This lady was one that I taught alongside while Steve was in seminary and I admire her more than she knows.  She simply said "We all need to fall apart".  

Those six words have stuck with me.  How true that is.

We all need to fall apart.

Falling apart is essential for us to ever be held together.

For me, falling apart happened 1000s of miles away from all that was familiar.  But that's not the case for everyone.  But I do think we all tend to fall apart in our own mission fields...wherever that may be. 

The mission field that HE has called us to...
the place where all that we thought we knew doesn't matter anymore  
the place where we are stripped down
the place where we have more questions than answers
the place where surrender is our only survivable option

Until we become nothing, He can't be our everything.  

Demolishing our pride and self sufficiency is required for all of the pieces of our lives to fall apart.  When all we have are ashes, He turns us into something beautiful, holy, righteous, glowing with His glory.

He holds us together. 

He rebuilds, reshapes, remolds, replenishes, remakes, reforms
until we begin to realize how much we look like His radiant bride.

Rather than being afraid that we might fall apart...perhaps we should be praying that we do.

The Not So Ugly Beautiful

It had been one of those weeks.  Nothing huge, just lots of little things and plenty of - only a couple hours of sleep - nights.

There was this adorable 6 month old baby that has yet to sleep through the night...even with following BabyWise.  There was this energetic & silly 3 year old who absolutly thrives off of interaction and structured play.  And then there was this 28 year old mom who was recovering from a sinus infection and dreaming of the night when she could sleep longer than 3 hours at a time.

Like I said, one of those weeks.

I've written about those days that could be considered "Ugly Beautiful" gifts.  

That's where my heart longed to be.  

Breathing prayers of thanksgiving for a healthy baby girl.  Prayers of gratitude for a well adjusted third culture kid.  Stopping and being silent with thoughts of praise flowing for having the opportunity to be a momma to these two gorgeous gals.

On Friday, when Lyllian laid down and Ryleigh was absolutely not wanting to, my husband who knows how to love me so well, told me to go take a nap.  It was fabulous.  Seriously.

When I woke up, Steve told me that one of our national friends had called while I was sleeping.  His 2 year old nephew had died the day before.  They were calling to see if Steve could drive them and the body to the buiral site on Saturday morning.

I sat down.  I couldn't breathe.  My heart broke.

I couldn't help but think about how those things that I was calling "ugly beautiful" were really not so ugly after all.  This little boy had a high fever, that turned into an infection, and the doctor simply told the family he didn't know how to treat it.  

Now that little boy is gone.

He will never keep his momma up in the middle of the night.

He will never ask his daddy to play ball with him.

He's gone.

Gut punch.

At that point both girls were asleep and all I wanted to do was go and crawl in each of their beds and hold them as they slept.  I didn't want to ever say "no" to playing dollhouse or to kicking a ball outside.  I simply wanted to be with them and enjoy them and be ever so grateful for them.

Granted, "one of those weeks" are bound to happen

Granted, "no" does have to be a part of a momma's vocabulary some times

Granted, "ugly beautiful" moments do and will occur - and it's so important to still look for His grace gifts inside of those times.

However, the times that I've considered "ugly" really aren't.  Perhaps, it's better described as finding the beauty in ordinary times as well as extraordinary.  I think I've experienced more "ordinary beautiful" than "ugly beautiful" in my life.  There are others around me who are truly going through "ugly" times and I pray that they are each finding the beautiful gifts He is bestowing in the midst of their circumstances.

It's probable that there will be ugly times ahead at some point.  I still desire to find His beauty in those moments/hours/days/weeks when they do come.

But for now, I think I will commit to seeking out the ordinary beautiful on those harder than normal days.

Our Fourth 4th

It's a little surreal to think it's the 4th time we've celebrated America's Indpeendence Day on international soil.  Every year we've managed to find some sparklers and Ryleigh has gotten so excited about all the "fireworks" which this year even included bottle rockets!

For the past 3 years, we've been able to see fireworks the week before during Madagascar's Independence Day - so the girls have seen an actual firework display but I get the feeling that this New Years Eve they're going to be in for quite the surprise.

Grateful for the opportunity to celebrate and for all of the men & women who have given their lives so that it's possible to celebrate.  While it's not currently in our calendar to be in the States for the 4th anytime soon, we do have fun celebrating with our mission family.  Yesterday was filled with a trip to the beach, a patriotic movie, yard games, fireworks, American hotdogs, traditional sides, and lots of fun with friends.

Here's a look at all 4 of our 4th since arriving on the field...

2011

 2012

 2013

2014

Five Minute Friday: Exhale

So come and write with us. Together. On one word for five minutes. Here are all the details. And then link up your post or leave it in the comments by clicking here. But remember, the one must rule here is that you visit the person who linked up before you and encourage them in their writing. 

EXHALE

Go...

"Take a deep breath...good.  Now let it go."

This is something I find frequently coming from my lips to my three year old.  It helps her calm down, whether she is upset or if she's just talking too fast for me to understand her.

Exhaling brings calm...brings a moment of peace.

There is something about breathing out that helps you gain your bearings...helps bring focus to what you're doing.

Breathing in and breathing out - a part of life - it essentially is a definition of life itself.

Desiring this year to not take those daily moments for granted.  To breathe Him in and exhale His goodness, love, mercy, grace, & forgiveness to all who are around me...that is what our Life should be.

He brings calm to my soul and to those around me when I choose to exhale His truths over my husband, children, and friends.

He brings peace, focus, & LIFE to me when I am aware and I focus on breathing Him in...

in the small gifts,
in the big moments,
in the common days,
in the hard trials...

He is the One who makes it possible to exhale...

He is Faithful

This time three years ago...we were in a state of sleep deprivation.  We had left our home, our family, and everything that was familiar to us.  We found ourselves half a world away alone with a 6 month old and no grandparents to come over to help.  

The night before we left, we heard "Never Once" for the first time.  The first section seemed to fit our moment so well. 

"Standing on this mountaintop, looking just how far we've come, knowing that for every step, You were with us"

Although we loved our family dearly, there was more happiness and adrenaline than any type of sadness.  We were excited and in a state of shock that it was actually happening.  We were finally headed to Africa.  It was surreal to say the least.

I knew that there would be days ahead that I would miss my momma & daddy, my family, & the familiar...but at the moment, all I could think about was the wonder of the unfamiliar.  The fulfillment of a dream that the Lord had placed in my heart so long ago.

Over the next three years, we learned the importance of another section of the song.

"Scars and struggles on the way, but with joy our hearts can say, never once did we ever walk alone, never once did You leave us on our own.  You are faithful, God, You are faithful."

Language was fun and interesting...until we weren't fluent within the first month.  
We laughed with the people who laughed when we spoke...until it wasn't funny anymore.
Being away from family was an adventure...until the first holiday away from home.
It was endearing when the nationals assumed we spoke French...until it became frustrating.

There were hardships, but there were also incredible opportunities - once in a lifetime types.  The Lord taught us huge things through sometimes quite ordinary happenings.  He showed us how to exhibit His joy and to be content in plenty & little.  I had always thought about that meaning in riches or in poverty - and it does...but He also showed us how to apply it to all areas of our life.  Plenty of conviences or little conviences - plenty of family or little family - plenty of educational choices or little educational choices - and the list could go on.

He proved Himself faithful time after time after time.  I would say that we had a solid foundation of faith when we left the States due to His grace and provision through our families & churches.  However, over the past three years His word became real in ways we never imagined.  We have searched the depths of His love, mercy, forgiveness, and grace - and are now even more aware of how much more there is yet to explore.

So, as we find ourselves finishing up our first "term" and headed stateside soon I find myself resonating more with...

"Kneeling on this battleground, seeing just how much You've done.  Knowing every victory, was Your power in us."

We find ourselves kneeling in awe of Him more often than ever before.  Realizing that even battles that look like they are a long way from "victory" can be claimed through Christ's power.  He is faithful.

He faithfully used everything up until July 2011 to prepare us for this journey.
He faithfully allowed His strength to be perfect in all of our weakness during this 1st term.
He faithfully was faithful.

Praising Him that He will continue to be.
Grateful that His word is Truth eternal.  

Looking forward to what He has in store while we are stateside and into our 2nd term.
Thank you for being on this journey with us.  Your prayers, support, & encouragment have meant more than you could possibly know.

Three Years Ago...

We were packing up and getting this 6 month old ready to be a world traveler.

We boarded several different planes and made our way to Madagascar.

It's hard to believe that it's been three years already...until you look back at pictures and realize how long ago it actually was!

Grateful for all He has taught us over the past three years and while I'm not sure words could do it justice...I will attempt a blog post to summarize it soon!