My heart is full. There are times when it's hard to believe that this is my life. Married to your handsome daddy who loves all 3 of us so well, living in a 3rd world country, and being "mommy" to the most beautiful blue eyed girls I know. Truly living out my dream - it's humbling for sure. Most spend their time on this earth trying to figure out what their dream is and then chasing after it with all they have. I don't have words to describe how it is to know that I'm 29 and already living mine. I want you to know that it's not because of anything I have done. I have done nothing to deserve or earn this life. My sweet, gracious, & merciful Savior has chosen, for now, to allow me to live this life and I am eternally grateful for every moment He provides.
I so often have SO much I want to tell you that I have no idea where to start, so instead of it all staying in my head and in my prayers - I want to share some of it with you. There are things I never want you to question, truths I desire for you to always be confident of.
Ryleigh & Lyllian - you are LOVED. You are loved more than you can imagine. Both of you are uniquely created by the One who controls the storms and calms the seas. He has an amazing journey planned just for you if you choose to follow Him. He has entrusted your daddy and me to be your parents here on earth and we are completely honored with the task. We will make mistakes, sweet girls...at times we will fail at showing you His perfect love but He.will.never.fail.
The way your eyes smile and light up when you see me in the mornings - it's incredible enough to make my heart burst. Your giggles and grins have changed me in a way that's undescribable. Our days are filled with laughter - have no doubt - but know that there are other moments, ones of tantrums, tears, and discipline...but they all hold a special place in my heart. It's this whirlwind of ordinary moments that make our life together so extraordinary. The Lord has used (and continues to use) the two of you to teach me much about His truths, His grace, and His forgiveness.
Sometimes the days seem long and we are all (whether you admit it or not) look forward to bedtime. We're frustrated and in the words of Ryleigh "want to stomp our feet at you". It's in those moments that I've learned to grab you and pull you in my lap - to hold you until we both start laughing and the tension is gone. I've learned that Love really does conquer all. There are times that consequences are needed but Love is always present and I desire to show the two of you that in all that I do.
Other days the moments fly by. I blink and it's bedtime. Those are the nights that our bedtime routine takes a little longer, we rock for a few more minutes, we sing just a couple more songs. Those nights, you'll look up and find tears in my eyes and I assure you that they are only there because of how happy I am - only there because of how much I love you. I try to memorize the smell of your hair, the way you hold my hand, the crinkle of your nose, the way you body curls up on mine...it's all going by too fast and I don't want to forget a single second of it.
This past week, as I was sharing about His love with the ESL class, the realization of each of your salvations weighed heavily on my heart. The realization that it's truly out of my control - that it's a decision you must make all on your own...it's a hard thing for this momma to accept. I desire above all else for you to each come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. I pray that the stories, crafts, songs, and prayers lead you towards questions that only He can answer. I ask Him daily to prepare your hearts to love Him alone.
Girls, no matter how much your daddy and me love you - you are loved infinitely more by the God that we serve. We are proud of who you are and how He already uses you to bring glory to Himself. No matter how old you are - you will always be our baby girls.