This month, Lyllian started grabbing toys and holding on pretty tightly...
Of course, since she's been born if she's in my arms, she's holding tight to something...
to my finger, to my hair, to my necklace...
and if she's EVER in touching distance of her big sister then she's holding on tight to her...
Yesterday, she fell asleep as we were walking around the zoo and her tiny fingers were clasping mine ever so tightly. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was let go...it was one of those moments that I truly tried to take in.
The day was beautiful. Ryleigh was holding her daddy's hand, skipping around ready to find the polar bears, and I was walking a little slower carrying my newest baby girl and just breathing it all in.
Continually aware of those 5 fingers grasping my one so very tightly.
I wanted to squeeze her and never let her go. I wanted to grab Ryleigh and do the same...remembering that it didn't seem that long ago that she was tiny enough to fit in my arms. The depth of emotion literally took my breath away.
In those next few moments, the Lord asked me if I held onto them too tightly. Do I have such a hold on them and being their mother that I forget to let go? Do I allow my relationship with them to step in front of my relationship with Him? Do I desire to cherish moments with my girls MORE than I desire to do so with Him?
Lyrics from one of my favorite songs started playing in my head...
"Anything I put before my God is an idol.
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol.
Anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol.
Anything that I give all my love is an idol.
We must not worship something that's not even worth it.
Clear the stage and make some space for the One who deserves it.
Cause I can sing all I want to.
Yes, I can sing all I want to.
I can sing all I want to.
And still get it wrong, worship is more than a song."
- Jimmy Needham
I know the love that I have for my girls is only a small glimpse of the love that the Father has for us. He has given me the opportunity to be their mother but I must not hold too tight. For they are His...they are gifts that He has entrusted me with but ultimately & foremost - they are HIS.
He alone is the One who I need to be found
holding tightly to.