Where Would You Like To Go?

October 8, 2013

Not the Typical Tuesday Post...

As most of you know, the past few weeks have been full of some crazy days regarding our pregnancy and my health.  Praise the Lord, I was able to return home last Tuesday with the promise to finish out the antibiotic I was on and to get one more White Blood Count test done to see if it did indeed return to a normal range.  Saturday morning I went in and did the blood test (which in Tulear is a bit "iffy" to begin with) and found out later that afternoon that my WBC had returned to almost normal.  This was fantastic news and we were so thankful to hear it.

Monday afternoon, a German doctor who lives here and is one of our friends, called me to say that she saw on my test results that I had tested positive for malaria, and she wanted me to come back in Tuesday morning for a retest.  This was indeed quite a shock, since I had no other symptoms.  Malaria, while I've heard it's not fun, is indeed easily treated by medicine we already had in our home BUT having it while pregnant is something else entirely.  My heart sank to the floor and tears started flowing.  Steve was reminding me of how "3rd world" the labs are here and of our usual jokes about how we never know if it's our blood results we're actually receiving or a mixture of lots of people's.  However, fear/anxiety had already taken hold of that bit of my heart and I was having a hard time fighting it.

Standing in the kitchen, cutting up pineapple, tears running down my face, & Ryleigh hugging my leg asking me what was wrong...how do you put the unknown into words?  The words from Christy Nockels song "Already All I Need" came whispering through our ipod dock in the kitchen...
You're already all I need, already everything that I could hope for...my heart slowly started to regulate it's pace and His peace began to creep into my soul.  I was guarded against it, I had so many questions, and none of it made a whole lot of sense (I had NO symptoms of malaria) but He was there.  He was reminding me that I already had every answer I needed in Him.

Later Monday night, around 10pm, Steve got up to get something to drink.  He called me into the kitchen to ask if something smelled "off".  We eventually figured out - by seeing the electrical box shoot sparks - that something was indeed wrong and that the smell was something electrical burning.  We turned off the power and called an electrician friend - who came at 11pm for $12.50, find that kind of service in America! - and began to try and fix it for the night. When he began to take apart the box, we saw how bad the situation was...wires were melted, the inside box was completely deformed...a fire was bound to have started soon. The electrician made it to where we could run a few fans so that we could sleep through the night, we thanked him and went to bed.

Now it's Tuesday. I've been back to the doctor and my malaria test (that was closely supervised by my doctor friend) has come back negative. An electrician is here, putting in new fuses/wires/boxes/etc and fixing everything (except maybe the burning smell we've yet to get rid of). And, I've already sat and listened to "Already All I Need" during my quiet time this morning...because the truth is I know that He is all that I need.  However, life has a way of almost sneaking up on you and before you have time to even think - the fear/anxiety is already there. He's been telling me in the past 24 hours that no matter how much I think I have planned or figured out that there are ALWAYS things (lots of things!) that I have no idea about or control over (electrical box anyone?).  He is watching.  He is sovereign.  He is God. He is in control.


  1. So thankful you are getting better and better every day, and that you did not test positive. Our God is one awesome God! But, I do understand how hard it is not to worry. I'm in a constant battle every few days with worry. And while I pray everyday that He will take that worry away, sometimes it's not always easy to do. I know that He has our pregnancies in His hands, and that He is the Great Physician. What a pure joy it is to know that He is in control, and we can rest easy knowing that our faith in Him is all we need!

  2. I can totally relate to your post! I have to constantly reassure myself with Scripture because I too can be overwhelmed with the many concerns and worries that come with raising children and being married. Love your post! And I love Christy Nockels! I saw her in person at a Women of Joy Conference. God bless y'all in your mission work and with your pregnancy!

  3. Your life as a missionary already shows that you fully rely on God, I am so in awe of how God lets us know things just when we need it! Glad you are well.


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