This Is Grace

Grace is defined as recieving something we do not deserve.  Most of the time we like to think of all of the good things we have in reference to grace.
Our salvation - definitely.
Our family - of course.
But what if His grace is bigger than that?
What if grace looks different at different seasons in our lives?

What if it's actually grace when things are not okay?

I've been reflecting a lot since we've come stateside on all the Lord has taught me in our first term overseas.  Most would look at our life over there and consider it "hard", "difficult", or at least "not easy".  Then over the past 17 months or so it's seemed that "something" is always going on.

you know what?

I believe His grace is what has been going on.

how can it not be His grace to walk though situations & circumstances that bring us closer to Him?  how can it not be His grace to learn how to depend on Him alone?
how can it not be His grace to journey through life knowing that He alone is good?

it has to be.

it has to be His grace.

I do not deserve to know Him the way that I do.
I do not deserve to trust that His truths will not change.
I do not deserve to hope that He will work everything for the good - for His glory.

but I do.  I am.  I will.

if things we are given but don't deserve are grace then this is it.


our life is grace.
trials are grace.
victories are grace.
the journey is grace.

It's Going to Be Okay

"It's all going to be okay" 

Have you ever said it?  Has someone ever said it to you?

The good intentions are there - as a Christian, there is even truth to the statement...but I've never liked it.  Usually when that statement makes it's way into conversation, "okay" is the last emotion you are feeling.  

I was listening a few weeks ago to one of David Platt's sermons.  He was teaching from Acts 20 and he made the statement, "Just because something is difficult or hard does not mean the Lord is not calling you to it."

Amen and amen - right?  

For some reason, middle school English class makes it's way to the surface and I hear - "Two roads diverged in yellow wood...and I took the one less traveled by...and that has made all the difference"

He calls us to things that are not always "okay".

He takes us down paths that are less traveled.

The past 17 months have been filled with glorious & amazingly beautiful days.  

They have also been filled with tough, worn weary, & crying days.  

My pregnacy with Lyllian was not easy.

Complications while living in a 3rd world country were not fun.

Transitioning to a family of 4 was difficult.

Walking  Crawling through depression was hard.

and you know what?

it. was. not. all. okay.

agonizing cries

selfish prayers

words spoken in anger

pity parties thrown

lies believed

quiet times missed

grace withheld

doubts raised

but you know what?

it was all glorifying

it.was.all.glorifying.

He used it.  

every single thing.

He glorified Himself through it all - admidst it all.

He brought me to His throne.

He held me in His arms.

He never let go.  

He taught me about His faithfulness, His love, His mercy, His grace, & His forgiveness.

So, friend, I'm not here to tell you that everything is going to be okay but I can promise you as a child of His...

It's going to be glorifying!!

Lyllian Abigail ~ 10 months

Sweet Lyllian - 10 months old!!  

How crazy to think almost a year has gone by!  I feel like you have grown up so much in this past month.  You are 28.5 inches long (56th percentile) and weigh 19.5 pounds (42nd percentile)!  

Clearly you have had a growth spurt!!

You are still eating baby food (your favorite is baby yogurt) but you also love grilled chicken and black eyed peas.  You've also tried a coke icee and a strawberry snowcone (yummy!!)!

You are trying to talk as much as your sister does and a few people even think you've said their names!  Pat-a-cake is one of your favorite activites and you can clap your hands all by yourself and throw them in the air at the end of the song.  

Your favorite toys to go after are your sister's - much to her dismay.  Although she has gotten a bit better about sharing with you as of late.  You love pulling yourself up on anything that's around - including people's legs - but you almost never stand flat footed.  You love being on your tiptoes!!!

You can get around to anywhere you'd like by crawling - you haven't quite started cruising yet, but I think it might be in the near future!

No matter where we are, people comment about what a happy baby you are.  You do still like to suck your thumb but not as much as you have.  The only time you tend to do it now is when you're sleepy!  

 Your big sister gets the loudest giggles from you.  She loves making you laugh about as much as you do.  I think you will be quite a people person.  Anything that we do that requires you to be still (eating, diaper changes, getting dressed) is more quickly done in a room where noone else is.  If someone is around, you want to be looking at them and talking!

 Praying for wisdom as your mommy, sweet girl, as you continue to grow.  The Lord has been gracious in allowing your daddy & me to raise you - and our prayer is that we do it all for His glory.

I love you baby girl!