Balance

yesterday we dropped 2 of my absolute favorite people off at the airport.  it was hard.  really hard.

three years ago (and all the years before then) when people would ask me about moving overseas - i always smiled, big & brave - told them i knew it might be tough sometimes but it's where i was called.  and it still is.  however that "tough" thing...that was/is something i wasn't entirely prepared for.  i didn't know what it would look like - and i didn't know that these 2 beautiful girls that we have would make parts of this journey amazingly easier and at the same time incredibly harder.

i love to dream.  i love to imagine, to think, to plan...but sometimes it gets me so emotional that i can't see because of the tears streaming down my face.
how do i balance it?
how do i balance knowing we are called to
be thousands of miles away
100s of goodbyes at airports
relationships that are strethened through skype calls instead of face to face
hugs that are never quite long enough
not being there for the day to day of extended family life
updates on life through emails & Facebook

with also knowing we are called to
FOLLOW HIM

how does that one thing balance with all of the others?  how is that enough to keep on keeping on?  my heart knows.  i know.  i know that it's because He is infitely greater than anything that i can come up with on the other side of the balance.  i know that is true.  i also know it's tough.  this morning and perhaps many mornings to follow, i'm grateful for His word...what He has taught me recently through the account of David's life.  that it's okay to grieve that which I perceive as "losses", it is okay to question and cry out, it is okay to praise even when my emotions may not line up with "praising".

He is enough even on the days that i feel my heart may be breaking.  He is enough when I am ready to make a list of all that I have "given up" for His calling on my life.  He gently wipes the tears away, gracefully shows me that I have given up nothing in comparison to the sacrifice of His son, and mercifully forgives my selfishness.
there is nothing that can truly be considered a sacrifice if i'm being honest, not in light of Who He is.
serving Him is an honor...even on the tough days
even on the days when i cant find the words to say it aloud...
He is MORE than enough...
He alone is worthy of the praise & the glory...
He alone is worthy to be followed.