The Struggle

Bare walls and boxes - that's what our home has looked like for the past 2 weeks.  Our lives as far as possessions go are about to fit on the back of a truck and the rest are in 5 suitcases + the Amazon packages that I've been sending to my sister & brother in laws house (thanks guys!).  I can't escape the feeling of how not normal this is.  To slowly pack up things that we won't see for 6 months...to get ready to go "home" for a while and have that place be almost foreign to our girls...there's no denying the ache that presents itself from time to time.  

The struggle is real.  Just thinking about answering the question "how was it" in regards to our 3 years of life overseas is overwhelming.  How do we fit 3+ years into a few sentences?  It's hard to explain but I think sometimes people might forget that we're really living life here.  Just like our families and friends and churches are living their lives in America - life continues even when we're in different time zones and radically different cultures.  The world doesn't stop spinning.  A lot has happened in our lives and we have missed out on a lot in America.  We've missed weddings, births, and funerals.  We haven't been there for graduations, birthdays, holidays, and family dinners.  

It's a strange position to be in when you are around your family.  The people you grew up with, took family vacations with, lived life with...and suddenly you've missed a lot.  Skype is fantastic and being able to email pictures and videos - helps more than we could even fathom in keeping up to date...but some things fall through the cracks.  We're all busy simply living.  I honestly don't have words to describe how much I'm ready to see my family and have the opportunity
(again!) to live life with them.  To have game nights, family dinners, road trips, and vacations - with the people who hold such a special place in my heart...it's enough to make my heart burst.

At the same time, people have already started saying "I know you'll be so glad to be back" or "I know you can't wait to be home".Well...yes...and no.  We are thrilled beyond belief (and lately beyond sleep) to see our family and friends (and to eat Chik Fil A).   At the same time we are sad.  It is hard to leave a place & people that have become home.  Right now - a week out from worshipping with our different English speaking church families & eating at my favorite Mexican restaurant - it's easy to rattle off all the reasons I miss America (and no they aren't ALL food related).  

But, I have a feeling that it won't take long at all to miss things about this home too.   

Are there words to describe the excitement of being in the same country - the same state as our family!?!?!  

No - there's not...but there's also not a time that I wouldn't enjoy for them to just come and live in Madagascar with us.

Will I love that our amazing pediatrician is just a few minutes away from our house?  

Absolutely, but I will also miss the lessons that I've learned in depending on Him to be our Healer - truly putting my faith into action.  

Am I looking forward to road trips on paved roads & logical traffic laws?  

Yes!  However, I'll miss walking outside my gate and hearing Ryleigh stop a pousse for us to ride to the market.

The struggle is real but what a great struggle to have.  He is always reminding me that this world, Mississippi, or Madagascar is not my home.  He has given abundant gifts in each place but they alone can not satisfy.  Only eternity with Him will.